Friday, January 7, 2011

I'm small on the outside but big on the inside!

I was born with a unique situation.  My heart wasn't functioning right.  Apparently one of the valves was broken which made the blood flow the wrong way and as a result I was very weak and very tired a lot of the times.  The doctors didn't know about the situation till I was about 7 years of age. 

On the first day of my trip to Children's Hospital I wanted to stay home and watch Saturday morning cartoons.  I wasn't to thrilled to go to the hospital.  I figured if I put up a fuss they would turn around and head back home.  Though I stopped after a while realizing that it wasn't working so I stopped making a fuss about it. 

I was there for about a week and a half I believe.  I know not more than that or less than that.  I liked my floor which had a playroom down at the end of the hall to play toys and feel like a kid.  As for meals would be served in the hallway just right in front of my door and I had to get breakfast, lunch and dinner that way.  I also had a TV in my room also. 

Just prior to my surgery I took one long walk around the hospital outside with my mother and had a blessing just prior to the surgery so that I would be fine.  I had all my family at the time along with some of my relatives.  After that they took me to get worked on.  They put a mask over my mouth and nose and told me to count down from 10 to 1.  I was like whatever, I tried to stay awake, but was out by the time I counted to 3. 

During the time of the surgery I was thinking of life in general and was thinking to myself that I wanted to go back home to heaven to take away the pain that I had to go through.  Though I was confronted by the Lord and was told that my mission on earth was not over and this was just a stepping stone in my life, and I needed to return to finish living my life.  So I figured OK, I'll go back and finish living my life. 

After the surgery was over, I was thrilled that it was a great success.  A few days later, I along with my mother, took the tape off that the doctor had put over my chest.  At the bottom of the tape that the doctors had done, there was a needle and thread that was used to sew my skin back up and I pulled out the needle and thread.  On the day I was heading out of the hospital and back home I took baby steps for my body wasn't quite used to running around quite yet. 

As a result of the whole surgery my growth has been stumped.  If I had a choice to either live with a defective heart, possible death anytime, and grow taller or have a new heart, long life, and be small size,
I would take the chance of a new heart, long life and be small size. 

I've had many times wishing I was taller but realizing that I've had some advantages of being my current height but also some disadvantages as well.  Such as being an arm rest for someone, which I don't like that or being lifted up in the air without any weight to keep my down. 

I've been told that even though my physical body may be small but my spirit body may be bigger. 

For the Lord looketh on the heart, while man looketh on the outside.
Even though my height may be small, I know that I have affected many lives around the places I go and visit.  I'm glad that my life was not over and I was able to stay here on Earth.  For without me being here I know that my family and friends would be facing different lifestyle to where I wasn't there for them.  The Lord knew this and I'm glad for that experience. 

So now matter what your skin color is, your height, weight, hair color, language you speak, we are all one big family and have the responsibility to effect those around us for the good and make them glad that they have met you. 

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